同學們, 到了國外除了讀書外, 也要多多接觸當地的文化, 以下是三則笑話, 稍稍體會一下不同文化所產生的差異哦~

The Priests Rooster

 

The Priest of a small village was very fond of his flock of ten hens and a cockerel.

He kept them in a hen house behind the parish, but one Saturday night, the cockerel was missing.

The priest, suspecting fowl play decided to say something about it at church the next morning.

At Mass, he asked the congregation, has anyone got a cock? To which all the men stood up.

"No,no," he said, somewhat flustered, "that's not what I meant. "Has anybody SEEN a cock?" All the women stood up.

"No, no," he said. "Thats not what I meant either. Has anyone seen a cock that doesn't belong to them." Half the women stood up.

"No, no," He said, now thoroughly embarrassed "Perhaps I should rephrase the question: Has anybody here seen MY cock?" All the choirboys stood up.

 

Urinalysis

 

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor."

"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer at the drugstore at the corner. Just give it a urine sample and the computer'll tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars...a hell of a lot cheaper than a doctor."

So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to the drugstore. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure.

Jack hurries back to the drugstore, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.

The computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant...twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.

 

Ways To Turn Men Down

 

He: Can I buy you a drink?
She: Actually, i'd rather have the money

He: I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.
She: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.

He: Your face must turn a few heads.
She: And your face must turn a few stomachs.

He: Haven't I seen you some place before?
She: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

He: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
She: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

He: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
She: Unfertilized.

He: I want to give myself to you.
She: Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

He: Didn't we go on a date once? or was it twice?
She: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

 

資料來源: 

http://www.thejokeyard.com/religious_jokes/the-priests-rooster.html

 

http://www.thejokeyard.com/funny_jokes/urinalysis.html

http://www.thejokeyard.com/pick_up_lines/ways_to_turn_men_down.html

 

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